Madge's Story

I started drinking when I was about 16 years old,
I wasn't necessarily an alcoholic at that stage,
but a lot of binge drinking.
It was after an event that happened, a family situation
that I didn't manage very well.
My drinking escalated from there.
For a short time, I managed it.
I got through school, went to university.
When I went to university, it really tipped over.
I started drinking in the mornings.
I would be drinking in lectures.
That time in my life, I didn't really think I had a problem.
A lot of other people were drinking like that at university,
but it again soon escalated.
After I left university, I was working in the holidays at a pub
and decided to make that my full time job, even though I just got a degree.
I worked at the pub with
somebody who was a close friend who eventually bought the pub.
He is also now in recovery, but the two of us drinking
very heavily at the time was very chaotic.
There were lots of consequences during that time
we nearly lost the licence a couple of times.
There were a few accidents.
I wrote off a couple of cars in that period.
Eventually I left that job
and that's really when things escalated.
I ended up, I was at home 24/7, drinking on my own.
I was ordering alcohol in because I had written off my car
so I couldn't get anywhere. It's completely remote.
It was next to a river in the middle of nowhere.
And it got to a point where I contemplated taking my life.
And at that moment was when I decided I needed to make a decision.
I don't know that I necessarily thought
I had a problem at that point, but I knew that I needed to do something
because the consequences were building and I wasn't able to manage them.
I spoke to my parents and told them I thought I had a drink problem
again, don't think I actually believed it.
So I went to rehab.
I stayed the duration, but I didn't enjoy it at all.
After I left rehab, I went to
a dry house and I actually only stayed a day because I rang my parents and said,
if you don't come get me, I'm going to go to the pub.
I quickly relapsed
as soon as I came out of rehab,
on and off for about six months,
I decided to get another job in that time in a hotel on reception
and not behind the bar because I thought that wold be manageable.
I lost that job eventually
because I was drinking.
I was ordering drinks to go to rooms
that weren't occupied, drinking them.
And then I ended up passing out on reception.
So I got fired from that job.
I was living with my sister at the time and she was heavily pregnant.
She went into labour.
She had my nephew.
I then drove drunk to go and see him
and I actually wrote my car off.
But following that period
I had some sobriety.
But where things came unstuck is I wasn't,
I didn't actually know another alcoholic in that time.
So some people would say I was probably was what they term a dry drunk.
Willpower was getting me through, but life was still very chaotic.
I dabbled a bit in that time with prescription drugs.
I managed to somewhat build my life back up in that time.
I got a good job.
I moved out on my own.
Then when the pandemic hit, I relapsed
and I realised that although my family and friends
knew that I had a drink problem, the people that I worked with didn't.
So I utilised work as a place to go out
and I did a lot of drinking during that time.
It escalated rapidly.
Within a couple of months I was at home drinking.
I wasn't turning up for work.
I was missing days.
That led me to
come into Abbeycare.
I came in in June 2023
and I've been sober since then.
You're so isolated in addiction that being in a community setting
where you're living and learning around
people is really beneficial.
I had an amazing key worker
and during our first key worker session
I really felt understood and that was probably the first time ever
that I really felt like somebody understood me.
And there was an element of trust there that
I could really trust in the suggestions that were being given to me.
And this really was the right thing that I needed to be doing.
I learnt so much during treatment
because I didn't know anything about addiction and
to learn that it's an illness
and that it can be managed and there are other people managing it.
It's been hugely beneficial.
Having Abbeycare aftercare
was critical for me once I left because
it was just something community
based that I could trust
the people there I knew.
So that massively helps.
And we had all been through the same journey.
And although you have connection in fellowship,
it's a different kind of connection when you've been through treatment together.